The Secrets That We Keep
by Mistress of Crucio
Summary: Harry has a twin sister he's never met. The man raising her is none other than Severus Snape. What will change? How different is she from Harry? How are they alike? Follow her and Severus as they make this journey together. R&R please. Slight DH spoilers
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: The only thing that belongs to me is my original character. Everything else belongs to JK Rowling.**

A great big thanks to my wonderful beta Alachrea! Any remaining mistakes are my own.

* * *

_'I've crossed the last line, from where I can't return.._

_Where every step I took in faith betrayed me...' Sarah McLachlan-"Sweet Surrender"_

Albus Dumbledore was pacing in his office.

In the soft glow of the two lamps that were lit, his shadow had taken to pacing along with him, growing ever larger as he closed in on the source of light, and retreating when he shuffled back to the other side of the room. Every now and again he would stop and stare down at the bright red carpeting, as though something had come to him, only to shake his head softly a moment later and continue his pacing.

In a red leather armchair placed directly in front of his desk, a witch with black hair sat quietly, her sad eyes fixed on a large basket resting on the headmaster's desk.

"Albus," she inquired softly, removing her glasses to dab her eyes with a tissue. "Are you sure this is the right thing?"

Silence.

Albus stopped for a moment before crossing the room to his desk. Instead of sitting, he looked for a moment or two at the basket, and turned away from it quickly as though burned.

He faced the large paned windows overlooking the Quidditch pitch, seemingly mesmerized by the mist that had begun whirling there suddenly, as though by his will.

When he finally spoke to her, it was with a heavy heart.

"No, Minerva, I cannot say that this is the right thing to do. I am only certain that it is the way it is supposed to be, for better or for worse."

Minerva made as though to speak again. Before the words came a knock sounded from the heavy oak door. With a nod from Dumbledore, she quickly rose from the chair and moved towards the exit.

"Enter."

Instantly, the door swung open to reveal a tall, pale man, his paleness accented by the inky black cloak he wore. His dark hair hung in his eyes, hiding them from Dumbledore.

He stood in the archway briefly before striding into the office, sneering slightly at the sight of them.

Pausing, he looked to Minerva.

"Professor." he said brusquely.

She stopped and looked him over with disgust. Biting back a scathing remark, she shot him an icy glare and withdrew from the office in a huff. He scowled at the back of her billowing emerald robes until the door shut between them.

Severus Snape could barely hide the contempt in his voice as he spoke to the older man, who still had not turned to face him.

"You summoned me, Headmaster?"

"I did Severus."

At that point Dumbledore turned and motioned silently to the recently vacated chair in front of his desk.

"I will stand, with the hope that this will not take up too much of my time.."

Dumbledore seated himself at the desk and found himself unable to speak now that he was so close to the basket and it's precious contents.

Snape's lip curled again as he spoke.

"Am I to guess why I have been called here at this ungodly hour then? Or perhaps you thought to test my legilimency skills-" Dumbledore held up a hand to silence him.

Snape wasn't sure if it was the look on Dumbledore's face, or if the man had magically pressed the thought into his mind somehow, but right then, he knew why he had been called.

It took only a second for him to absorb it before his knees failed him and he collapsed to the floor where he stood. A mournful sound escaped his lips and his hands clenched into fists.

"You," Snape spat venomously, "You lied to me. You promised to protect her. We had a bargain! You failed her!"

Dumbledore watched his display through narrowed eyes.

"Spare me your antics, Severus. We both know who is truly accountable, who truly failed her. "

Snape's head jerked upward and he stared into Dumbledore's face, his eyes blazing with anger. He tried to defend himself, but Dumbledore spoke again before he could.

"The deed is done, Severus. Casting blame from one to the other will not bring her back."

He hung his head towards the floor again. His hair served as a veil, concealing his face from Dumbledore, but he could see the tears streaming from the end of Snape's long, hooked nose. He gave him a moment before continuing.

"This tragedy leaves another in it's wake." Dumbledore began. "Two children are now orphaned because of the events that took place last night."

"He let them- her children, they are- they live?" Snape was now looking at Dumbledore incredulously.

Dumbledore rose from his seat and took his previous position at the window, unwilling to look at Snape just then. He nodded his head, feeling Snape's eyes burning into his back.

"They do. Your Lord, however, does not. His killing curse seems to have rebounded, destroying him in the process, but sparing the boy and girl."

Snape had not moved from his crouched position on the floor. Dumbledore stared out of the window for some time, putting off the inevitable for as long as he could.

"I turn myself over to you. Send me to Azkaban, let the dementors perform their kiss." Snape had spoken so quietly that Dumbledore almost did not hear him.

"What is this, Severus? Guilt? Remorse perhaps?" He shook his head. "No, sending you to Azkaban would not benefit anyone now."

Dumbledore turned and walked back over to his desk standing beside it and clasping his hands behind his back.

"Lily must have thought you to be a better man than you deserve, Severus." He gestured to the basket. "This now belongs to you."

Snape looked to the basket questioningly and stood to examine the object, Dumbledore watching him keenly. Startled by the unexpected contents he stepped backwards, throwing his hands in front of his face.

"No! This cannot be!"

Dumbledore reached into the basket and gently lifted a tiny, sleeping red haired girl, pressing her against his chest before holding the bundle out to Snape.

"You are her godfather, Severus, did you not take the vow?"

Snape looked at the tiny form, not taking her, but moving further away.

"I did, but it cannot be binding, her father was not willing."

"But it is Severus. My hands are tied. If I could have, I would have kept Hadley and Harry together, but the magic in place would not allow it. Lily and James went to great lengths to have them separated, for their protection, in the event of their death."

Dumbledore stepped forward as he spoke, and held the child out to Snape. He finally took her but refused to look down into her face.

"The boy, where is he?"

"He is being discovered at this very moment on the doorstep of Lily's sister, Petunia."

Snape grimaced, the sound of Petunia's screeching voice from his childhood echoing in his ears.

"His godfather, Black, why is he not with him?"

"It would seem the Potters placed their faith in the wrong people. He was the one who betrayed them, and tonight rightly finds himself in Azkaban, though not for this crime."

Severus was furious, hatred etched into every line of his face. Dumbledore was watching him in that unnerving way of his, waiting for something- what, he didn't know.

When he realized that Snape was not going to speak, Dumbledore waved his hand and a single piece of parchment rose from his desk.

"This is her birth certificate, now naming you as the father. The witch listed as her mother does not exist to my knowledge."

Severus took the parchment with his free hand and looked at it for a moment.

"What am I supposed to do with her? I have nowhere to keep her. And what am I to do with her when I am teaching?"

"Things have a way of working themselves out, Severus. The house elves have already moved what was left of her things into your quarters, which I believe are more than adequate for keeping her."

Dumbledore spoke firmly and with a sense of finality. Not wanting to hear anymore of Snape's protests, he bid him goodnight and motioned for the door. Snape, whose mind was still reeling from everything he had just heard, left the office without further comment and made the long trek back to his dungeon rooms.

When he arrived he began looking for the things Dumbledore had mentioned. Sure enough, the spare bedroom he had been using as a makeshift storeroom had been transformed into a nursery. Strangely he noted that though it was lit with only one tiny lamp, it seemed brighter and warmer now than the rest of his dungeon. Stepping in, he looked around the room. It was not a surprise to see that she had so little left, as he knew first hand what havoc the Dark Lord could wreak.

In the farthest corner sat a small wooden crib padded with a pink and white blanket, turned down and waiting for it's occupant. A mobile hanging above it hummed a familiar childhood lullaby as tiny, silver, glittering stars danced and twirled to it's rhythm. The one bookcase that remained contained a few articles of clothing folded neatly on its uppermost shelf. On the shelf below stood a stuffed purple unicorn, obviously charmed, that shuffled and snorted and did not look happy to be there.

Between the bookcase and the crib was a white rocking chair hand painted lovingly with little pink stars and yellow crescent moons. In a familiar hand on it's headrest was her name.

"Hadley." He whispered.

Snape felt his knees begin to weaken once more as he collapsed into the chair. He looked down to the child in his arms and saw that she was now awake, though she had not made a sound. He had seen her once before, when he had taken the vow that made him her godfather, but had not paid much attention then. At the time he was just relieved that Lily had decided to speak to him again.

Hadley was fair skinned with wavy red hair, which was fastened with a tiny butterfly barrette on top of her head. But it was her eyes that literally took his breath away.

"Merlin's beard." He gasped as a tear traveled silently down his cheek.

They were large and slightly tilted downwards in the outer corners, dark black lashes fringing the bright green irises. He knew those eyes. He knew them very well, for he had spent a great deal of his youth staring into them.

Lily's eyes.

"This is too much. I cannot do this." Snape said weakly to the empty nursery. "I cannot do this."

He saw that Hadley was smiling up at him, and Merlin help him, he couldn't help but smile back. She was so young and so innocent, and through this disastrous twist of fate, she was his. She raised her baby hand and caught his hair, her eyes almost closed now.

He unconsciously began rocking with her gently, closing his eyes and thinking how cruel life had been to them both.

This was a fitting punishment for him, to have to look into Lily's eyes everyday for the rest of his life knowing what he had set in motion and what he had been unable to stop. He studied Hadley's face, the task made easier now that she was once again sleeping.

After a while his thoughts seemed to clear, and he knew what he had to do. His world had collapsed that night and in a breath it was almost restored again. He hurt from his loss, and would surely never fully recover, but his gain was incredible and not to be overlooked. He realized that this child was his chance at redemption. Lily, who had always had so much faith in the person she thought him destined to be, was still trying to save him.

"I don't deserve it, Lily." He said inaudibly. "I never deserved _you._"

He had failed her before, and he would not do it again.

That was how Dumbledore found them the next morning. Snape sitting in the chair beside her crib, looking down at Hadley, who was still asleep in his arms, her tiny fingers curled in his hair.

* * *

A/N: This is my first full length fiction, please let me know what you think! More to come soon! 


	2. Life Uncommon

**Disclaimer: It's JK's playground, I just use the sandbox. Hadley though, is mine.**

Thanks again to my lovely beta Alachrea. Any remaining mistakes are mine.

* * *

_'Fill your lives with love and bravery, and we shall lead a life uncommon..' Jewel- "Life Uncommon"_

"Daddy! Daddy! Daadddyyy! Look at me!"

A slight breeze ruffled Severus' hair as he looked up from the book resting in his lap. The hot July sun was high in the sky, forcing him to squint his eyes a bit to see where the voice was coming from.

A tiny girl waved to him as she kicked the broom off the ground and soared upward, her curly red hair flying out behind her. He felt his heart rise into his throat as he jumped up, his book hitting the grass with a dull thud, and ran over to where a group of children were gathered in a half circle. Their cheering stopped when they saw the dangerous look on Snape's face.

"HADLEY AYDEN SNAPE! COME DOWN HERE, NOW!"

She giggled wildly, a wicked gleam in her eyes, and performed one, final figure eight before aiming the broom towards the earth, landing smoothly several yards from where he stood. Snape felt an immediate sense of relief overcome him and he released the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding.

He folded his arms across his chest and put on his best concerned face as he watched her running over towards him.

"Where on earth did she get that wild streak from?" He asked himself. "It certainly wasn't anything she learned from me."

Hadley now stood before him with an innocent face, but the devilish glint in her eyes gave her away. Lily's face flashed into his mind.

Yes, she was definitely her mother's daughter. There was no doubt about that. He both wondered and dreaded when the other half of her parentage would begin to rear it's ugly head. Wiping the thought from his mind he confronted her.

"What have I told you about brooms young lady?"

She chewed her bottom lip and moved her eyes back and forth as though reading her memory from parchment.

"They're about as useful as kindling unless you've been taught how to ride one." She said proudly, beaming up at him.

"That's correct. I don't want to see you riding one until you have had proper lessons from Madam Hooch. First years aren't even allowed to be in possession of the blasted things." He eyed her curiously awaiting her response.

"But dad I know how to. Drac—did you say _first years_?"

Snape could see the excitement bubbling up in her. He reached into the long black cloak that was draped over his shoulder. Producing a small envelope he held it out to her. She looked at it for a moment before grabbing it out of his hands and breaking the seal, almost ripping it apart in her excitement.

"My Hogwarts letter! I'm really going to learn magic now!"

She screamed and threw her arms around his waist.

"Oh, daddy this is the best day ever!"

He smoothed the back of her hair with his hand and tilted her head up to look at him, wanting to remember the look on her face at that moment for the rest of his days.

He had known she would be attending the school she loved. Her name had been written down since birth, but she was always worrying over it, asking him about it every summer for years.

"Can we go get my supplies this weekend? Please?" Snape put his arm around her shoulders and guided her up the hill towards the castle.

"I'll make a deal with you Hadley. If you behave yourself for the rest of the week, I mean really behave, we'll go to Diagon Alley for the weekend."

"The whole weekend?" She whirled in a circle around him. "I promise daddy, I promise I'll be so good you won't even know it's me!"

Snape chuckled. "Believe me Hadley, I'll know you're you. You couldn't be anyone else."

OoOoO

Tomorrow the students would be arriving and the new school year would begin. Snape could barely contain Hadley today, excited as she was. He'd just gotten her to fall asleep and stop worrying over her trunk.

"Goodnight, little one." Snape whispered. He gave her one last look before he closed her door quietly and went into the living room.

Reaching into a cabinet, he pulled out a dusty glass and wiped it out with his sleeve. From another door he produced a container of brandy. After pouring the liquid into the glass, he drained it, poured another and moved to his worn brown armchair and sat in front of the cold fireplace.

With a flick of his wrist, the curtains covering the window across from him pulled to either side. It was so black outside that it seemed to spill over into the room, rendering it even darker than before.

"Darkness." He said raising his glass to toast the moonless night. "To compliment my mood."

She'd told him last week that she would be moving into the dorms of whichever house she was sorted. Since then he hadn't been able to shake the feeling of undeniable loss. Granted they would still technically be living under the same roof, but he wouldn't be able to check her at night to make sure she had all her covers. And who was going to kiss her brow and comfort her when she had one of her nightmares?

Admittedly, in the beginning he hadn't wanted to keep her, not really knowing what to do with a one year old girl. But the moment he had held her in his arms on their second meeting, his resolve had melted.

She had won him over with a smile.

"You've become a soft touch, Severus." He thought wryly. "What would The Dark Lord say?" He shivered slightly at the notion and banished it from his mind.

It had been ten years now, and though he was still almost the same person, he felt different. Hadley had filled a void in him that he had tried to fill unsuccessfully for years. He never wanted to let go of that.

He sighed deeply, sinking his fingers into a hole on the arm of his chair.

Her brother, Harry, had received his Hogwarts letter around the same time Hadley had been given hers. They'd made absolutely certain by sending dozens by owl and finally one with their grounds keeper Hagrid, who could be a bit-- persuasive-- if need be.

"The sheer size of the man alone would be all that was needed to convince me." Snape said, smirking at the idea of the muggles meeting Hagrid face to face. He only wished he'd been there to witness it.

Hagrid had said that he had personally escorted Harry into Diagon Alley to buy his supplies a month ago. In fact, it was the same weekend he had taken Hadley, but fortunately they had never run into each other.

He had often wondered how Harry had fared with that wretch of a woman, Petunia, and when he had asked Dumbledore, the headmaster had replied that Harry was 'perfectly fine'.

Knowing Petunia as he did, he doubted that.

"I suppose I'll see for myself soon enough." He sighed.

Harry Potter was famous in their world. The legendary 'Boy who Lived', defeater of the infamous Lord Voldemort at only age one. Even Hadley knew who he was, though she didn't know the role he had once played in her young life. She was there that night too. However, due to some error on the ministries part, they recorded only the boy as the sole survivor of the attack on the Potter's.

"Leave it to the ministry to muck something like that up." Snape muttered, slightly disgusted.

Only a handful of people knew her secret, and were magically bound to protect it. They would die before the words could escape their lips. Of course any documents linking her to Lily and James Potter had long been destroyed and replaced with new ones. Snape never knew exactly how Dumbledore got things done, only that he did.

He took a small sip from the almost forgotten glass. He grimaced at the taste, but the amber colored liquid warmed his throat as it slid down easily. He emptied the glass and rose to make another. Snape was never a man that enjoyed drinking, but tonight it seemed to be the only thing that could soothe his conscience.

Guilt had been plaguing him a lot lately. It was a horrid, nagging feeling he got whenever he looked at his daughter. How could he have kept up this lie-- a lie that had made him extremely happy, but one that affected the course of her entire life? How was he going to keep hiding behind it when her true blood would be near her every day?

A small cry nearby broke the silence, drawing him from his thoughts. He turned to see Hadley standing behind him her face drenched with sweat and tears. He put his glass down and scooped her up, pulling her to his chest. She wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his shoulder, still sobbing.

"What is it darling? A nightmare?"

"N-no!" She cried, voice shaking. "D-daddy the b-bad man. He was h-here!"

"Shh..shh." Snape whispered. "It was a dream sweetheart. A very bad dream. But I'm here now. I won't let the bad man hurt you."

Her cries eased into tiny sobs as he carried her over to the chair and sat down, her thin arms still clinging to his neck tightly. He rubbed her back tenderly, holding her close. After a while, her sobs came less and less frequently, finally stopping altogether.

She raised her head and looked into his eyes.

"You promise daddy? You won't ever let the bad man hurt me?"

Snape brushed his lips across her damp forehead.

"I promise darling."

She fell asleep soon after, comforted by Snape's words. He brought her back to bed and tucked her in, hoping the rest of her night would be spent in peace. After he closed her door he fell back against it, closing his eyes in despair.

Her nightmares were getting worse. Rather, her _memories _were becoming more vivid.

The first time she described the green light and the screaming red haired woman, he had known it was more than a simple nightmare. She was reliving her mothers death through her dreams.

Snape knew she would eventually find out about the Avada Kedavra curse and what it did; the jet of green light that issued from the caster's wand, the instantaneous death. The moment he had been dreading and fighting for years was almost upon him.

The truth would have to be revealed in the near future, he only hoped that she would understand and not hate him for his part in it.

OoOoO

The next morning, she rose early and dressed in her new school robes. There would still be many hours of waiting before it was time for her to leave.

Yesterday afternoon, Snape had arranged with Hagrid for her to go down to the Hogsmeade station with him to meet the first years and ride back across the lake on the boats with them.

He didn't want her to miss making her grand entrance in the Great Hall with the other students for her sorting. She was ecstatic when he'd told her yesterday, but now she seemed more subdued. He figured she was probably getting a little nervous now; Merlin knew he was. So he had taken to fussing over her, taking up her habit of checking her trunk every few minutes to make sure she had everything packed.

"Hadley, I don't see your new quills in here." He said moving things around in the trunk for the twentieth time in as many minutes.

"They're wrapped in a robe, dad. Everything is there." Was that annoyance he heard in her voice?

"Nerves." he thought shaking his head and continued checking what she had packed and questioning her about things she hadn't. He'd finally stopped when she pulled the heavy trunk away from him and put it under her bed.

He could take a hint.

The sun was beginning to set, the time for Hagrid to appear was drawing nearer. Snape couldn't make himself stand at the window watching with her, and instead sat sulking at his desk, pretending to look over his course plans for the new semester.

The corner of his mouth lifted in a small smile at the thought of her being in his potions class, and made a mental note to check his seat everyday. He could imagine her pranking him by applying muggle glue to his chair, the same trick she had played on Hagrid the year before.

Snape grinned at the memory of Hadley and Hagrid walking hand in hand to the castle, Hagrid unaware that a chair was dangling from his rear end. She had to have used a lot of glue, and where she had gotten it from he didn't know. But he had an idea.

Merlin forbid she be in any class with Draco Malfoy.

His thoughts were interrupted when he heard her running and whooping down the hall. He flew from his desk and followed behind, calling her back to him before she could make it all the way out of the door.

When she was in front of him, he crouched down give her a few last minute instructions.

"It's very important that you listen to me, Hadley." He said sternly. "You are not to leave Hagrid for any reason. I don't care if you see a unicorn bowing to you at the edge of the woods. You do not leave Hagrid."

He thought about what he just said and realized that if Hagrid saw the unicorn as well, he wouldn't have to worry about Hadley wandering off _alone _to see it.

"But dad, a unicorn? You know I want to see one of those!"

"Hadley. No reason. At all. Stay with Hagrid. And keep your hands in the boat, the squid has always liked teasing the first years. I don't want to have to go down and fish you out of the lake."

She giggled, wiggling her lips and making a fish face at him, but he could see she was fidgeting impatiently. It was the first time she would ever be leaving the grounds without him, even if it was just to Hogsmeade, and he just wanted to make sure she knew to stay with Hagrid.

"Alright, you may go." He said a little sadly.

She made to bolt for the door, but he caught her arm, pulled her to him and put his arms around her in a tight hug before releasing her.

"Dad, you're such a big softy."

He gave one of his rare grins, the ones he reserved only for her.

"I know quite a few people who would say otherwise."

She put one little hand under his chin as the other twirled his hair absentmindedly, bringing him back to the night she came into his life to stay.

"You're not their daddy either." She smiled. "Remember what we talked about dad? You can't do this in front of the other kids." She said gently as though trying to spare his feelings.

Snape nodded and was rewarded with a quick kiss on the cheek before she flew out of his arms and out of the door.

He remained crouched where she left him, his hand pressed to the spot her lips had just touched. The sense of loss overwhelming him already.

Seconds later, she came back and peered around the doorway at him.

"Daddy," She spoke so softly that it was almost a whisper, "I love you."

When she had gone, he couldn't help himself. He sat down on the cold stones of the dungeon floor and for the second time in his adult life, Snape cried.

* * *

A/N: Next chapter will hopefully be up by next weekend. The Snape we all know and love returns! Hadley gets sorted, and we meet a couple of familiar characters. Which house do you think she'll end up in? Feedback is appreciated! 


End file.
